Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
