Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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