We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
