I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
