yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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