is your mom at the bar?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
