UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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