You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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