Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the day after is always just damage control
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm like, not good at living.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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