Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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