she was so not down for the gang bang
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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