i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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