Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you never un-have a 4some
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
