Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
