Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
