people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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