I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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