All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
