YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
