What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
