The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This is my gift to your gina
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
