i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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