Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
