so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
