So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Your penis caused this!
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