If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
