my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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