Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
