Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
