i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
