I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
