is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
