How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
