I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
