and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize