I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
