No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
