he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
