hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize