It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
