im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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