so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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