just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
