Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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