its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
