Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
