I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
