real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
