pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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