Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize