its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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