remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize