Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
