did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Send help, water and tortillas.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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