Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize