I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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