the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
