I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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