You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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