My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
