I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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