this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
