If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
