just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
