So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
