He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
