Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
