Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
