I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
