I'm jealous of your bromance
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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